Do your knees shake and your breathing get heavy when you think about having “the talk” with your kids?
I, most certainly, am not ready. Thankfully, it’s still years away…
…except it probably isn’t anymore.
I recently heard on the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast (episode 121 link) that kids as young as 11 are exposed to pornography. Add that to the prevalence of social media, and ForEveryMom’s post about sexual pressure tells us how this toxic culture is affecting our kids.
As we learned in Growing Young, adolescence is a greater challenge today than it was for us.
This is highly concerning to parents, as well as church leaders. How can we help kids have a healthy, age appropriate view of sexuality? How soon is too soon to have “the talk”? When is it too late to have “the talk”?
Kristen Welch from WeAreThatFamily.com says:
“I also am a fan of starting this conversation early.”
Early? Oh boy, I’m not sure I’m ready for early.
Having “The Talk” Early
She continues, “the world is all too happy to educate our kids with their version of sex education with advertising and media. And our kids get an education from their peers thanks to social media. I want my kids to know God’s standard for their bodies and future sexual relationship before they hear the world’s so they can compare what they hear to what God says about it.”
I love when Kristen states she wants her kids to have Biblical information first so kids can compare to that versus comparing to the world. It reminds me of how my oldest kid already takes in information. If her babysitter tells her something, that is the law. The truth. THE fact.
If I tell her something different, or not exactly what the babysitter says, it is a full on debate. So it makes total sense to me that the information a kid/teen receives first becomes the frame of reference.
One final thought from Kristen:
“I read once that sexual values are formed between the ages of 8-10, and I’ve found it was easier to talk to my girls when they are younger about modesty before their body begins to change because they aren’t nearly as self-conscience.”
Resources for “The Talk”
Kristen also provides some resources to help parents engage their kids in this conversation. Here are two great resources we’ve seen up close:
- Secret Keeper Girl: The Delicate Power of Modesty (girls) In a previous nonprofit role, Aaron’s organization hosted the SKG Crazy Hair Tour, and those girls and moms were all in for a night together! The SKG brand has some great resources, like this book and the 35-day devotional guide.
- Passport2Purity (boys and girls): As a church staffer, I have heard many parents use Passport2Purity for a weekend getaway with their kid. They turn a weekend into a fun and memorable time for their kid while taking the opportunity to educate.
Check out WeAreThatFamily.com for more resources on the list.
Having “The Talk” Together
“The Talk” can be hard, but imagine how many other people are also trying to get the courage to have “The Talk”?
Resources are great, but wouldn’t it be great to have some help from a real person? Let’s find a parent in a similar stage of life, with kids who are about the same age, and learn from each other.
This whole conversation sound challenging. It does not sound easy or comfortable. But the more I think about it, the more I want the best foundation for my kids at every step. And I think other parents want the same thing, too.
So as hard as it seems, let’s do this.
Let’s help our kids get a biblical foundation first so they can compare what the world has to offer with Biblical truth.